


I Don't Like Your Girlfriend

by EmeraldLight



Series: Hey Hey You You [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-30 08:29:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21425230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldLight/pseuds/EmeraldLight
Summary: Tiny sequel to Polyj-oops - by popular demand! Drarry but not? The song "Girlfriend" came on and the idea would NOT get out of my head. Rated T for swearing and obsecene gestures.
Series: Hey Hey You You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1544596
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	I Don't Like Your Girlfriend

**Author's Note:**

> All rights to the song "Girlfriend" go to the amazing Avril Lavigne. I don't own the song and make ZERO money off of it.

There was quite a commotion in the Great Hall, despite a good amount of students making their way off campus for another Hogsmeade weekend. Harry paused in his trek towards the courtyard, whispers of ‘Malfoy’ and “stage” reaching his ears. It must have been something impressive if students were abandoning their previous plans of attending the village in favor of heading back inside.

Of course, Harry had to follow, dragging a grumbling Ron and a sighing Hermione along with him. It had to be a ploy of some kind, he told them. Malfoy was up to something and it was his duty to get to the bottom of it. He wasn’t a Prefect for no reason, after all!

“Ah, the guest of honor has finally arrived!” Malfoy stood atop the table that graced the front of the Great Hall, the very table that the teachers sat at for every meal. It was covered in a silver tablecloth that sparkled with holographic glitters. As did Malfoy’s hair, the blonde wearing a high ponytail and the same rainbow shifting glitter in his hair.

Not to mention the dragonhide pants and thin, emerald green, shirt with thumb cuffs that was a hair too short (in Harry’s opinion) and offered brief, tantalizing, glimpses of Malfoy’s pale stomach.

But Harry definitely wasn’t looking at that, don’t be silly.

Pansy and Blaise stood flanking their friend, wearing less flashy clothing but grinning as they eyed their ‘leader’ and waited for the signal. With a flick of his wand, Malfoy cued the music (where was it coming from?) and launched into a very upbeat pop song.

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I don't like your girlfriend_ **

** _No way, no way_ **

** _I think you need a new one_ **

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I could be your girlfriend_ **

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I know that you like me_ **

** _No way, no way_ **

** _No, it's not a secret_ **

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I want to be your girlfriend_ **

Everyone in the Great Hall had gone silent as Malfoy’s admittedly impressive singing voice filled the room, amplified by a very handy spell. The blonde shook his hips and bopped around on the table top, singing into his wand and making some very interesting facial expressions. And smiling. Smiling so very brightly. Directly at Harry. Not to mention Blaise and Pansy were singing back up.

** _You're so fine_ **

** _I want you mine_ **

** _You're so delicious_ **

** _I think about you all the time_ **

** _You're so addictive_ **

** _Don't you know what I can do_ **

** _To make you feel all right?_ **

Malfoy alternated between sliding his hands over his body, pointing at Harry, and licking his lips in a way that certainly affected not just the dark haired male in question, but boys and girls of all sorts.

** _Don't pretend_ **

** _I think you know_ **

** _I'm damn precious_ **

** _And, hell yeah_ **

** _I'm the motherfuckin' princess_ **

** _I can tell you like me too_ **

** _And you know I'm right_ **

He was so sure of himself, Harry thought to himself, watching every movement with keen eyes. He had never seen the blonde so animated, not even when they would fight, though Harry could admit that since the blowjob incident… they hadn’t said a word to one another.

** _She's like so, whatever_ **

** _You could do so much better_ **

** _I think we should get together now_ **

** _(And that's what everyone's talkin' about)_ **

As Malfoy gestured to the crowd, he struggled not to break into a grin and interrupt his singing. He had no doubt that absolutely NO ONE was talking about them and he doubted that even Harry’s best friends knew about their little indescretion.

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I don't like your girlfriend_ **

** _No way, no way_ **

** _I think you need a new one_ **

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I could be your girlfriend_ **

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I know that you like me_ **

** _No way, no way_ **

** _No, it's not a secret_ **

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I want to be your girlfriend_ **

Ginny had made her way into the Great Hall after being stood up by Harry, frowning as she came to stand behind her boyfriend. She immediately took note of the fact that Malfoy was singing directly at Harry, frowning deeply.

** _I can see the way_ **

** _I see the way you look at me_ **

** _And even when you look away_ **

** _I know you think of me_ **

** _I know you talk about me all the time_ **

** _Again and again_ **

** _So come over here_ **

** _And tell me what I wanna hear_ **

** _Better yet, make your girlfriend disappear_ **

** _I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again (and again and again)_ **

Malfoy flicked a hand towards the red headed young woman as if dismissing her from the Great Hall, his body always moving, ponytail bouncing.

** _Cause she's like so, whatever_ **

** _You could do so much better_ **

** _I think we should get together now_ **

** _(And that's what everyone's talkin' about)_ **

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I don't like your girlfriend_ **

** _No way, no way_ **

** _I think you need a new one_ **

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I could be your girlfriend_ **

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I know that you like me_ **

** _No way, no way_ **

** _No, it's not a secret_ **

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I want to be your girlfriend_ **

Malfoy had to force himself to breathe (he also made a mental note to thank his mother for forcing him to take vocal lessons as a young child) - this was the part of the song that was going to probably earn him an impressive amount of detentions. Or perhaps he was going to be expelled…

** _In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger_ **

** _Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better_ **

** _There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in?_ **

** _She's so stupid_ **

** _What the hell were you thinkin'?_ **

Damn rights he could do it better, Malfoy thought to himself as he sang while Blaise and Pansy mimicked oral sex behind him, pumping a closed fist towards their mouthes while their tongue pressed into the inside of their cheek. It was very explicit. Silver eyes locked with jewel-tone green as they repeated the section before continuing on.

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I could be your girlfriend_ **

** _No way, no way_ **

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I know that you like me_ **

** _No way, no way_ **

** _No, it's not a secret_ **

** _Hey, hey_ **

** _You, you_ **

** _I want to be your girlfriend_ **

** _No way, no way_ **

** _Hey, hey!_ **

Malfoy’s lungs were killing him and he was thankful for being flexible and light on his feet because his hips hadn’t moved so much in his life. He remained on the stage, chest heaving, slowly lowering his wand as he passed his tongue over his dry lips.

The Great Hall was completely silent as he and Harry stared one another down, the brunette ignoring Ginny’s rapid fire questions.

What would the answer be?

**Author's Note:**

> PS: Have you seen the video Draquia made for this?! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsARYUPCwNw&list=LLYqBH2Ylflcvx4-FWaSIZgA&index=4&t=0s


End file.
